Detoxpod 198 Recap
And being Detoxpodguy in the wild...it's weird.
Listen to episode 198 with Ari Jacobson here.
I was out last night celebrating my buddy Rob’s birthday. He’s an attorney, and the group at this hang was me, Rob’s wife Carrie (who is also an attorney), Rob, and two of his attorney friends. So I was the only human at that table without a law degree. I felt somewhat intimidated (mainly because of the other lawyers there, Rob and Carrie are wonderful fucking humans and I love them), but this evening was real-time proof that good folks attract good folks. The other attorneys (Chris and Josh) were fun and inclusive and I didn’t feel like a complete dummy in their presence.
Anyway, one of the two other attorneys is a dad of two boys and we were collectively talking about the struggles he’s having raising boys to be masculine while also not passing along the bullshit we were taught about masculinity growing up, and Carrie goes “well, y’know, there’s a podcast about that” while I chuckled nervously. I’m not great at selling myself in situations where I’m not in “selling myself” mode. I can’t say whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing. He ended up looking the pod up on his phone and (presumably) saving it, so…hello, new listener! I hope you enjoy.
Turns out that Ari is also raising two boys, and the end of our conversation focuses on how he’s bringing his kids up. Parenting in 2025 is hard. Parenting in any year is hard. Hats off to anyone who accepts the task at hand and does it well. I’m glad I realized fairly early on that it wasn’t for me, and also I’m somewhat grateful for the experience I had as a teen, being essentially free labor at my grandmother’s daycare and getting a very early taste of what it’s like to be a caretaker for young people. Not my ministry at all. And the amount of responsibility I would feel for the process of raising a child in this world would amplify my anxiety levels from 100 to 1,000, and it would have prevented much if not all of the work I’ve done on myself these last 15-20 years.
Again, it’s a hard job, and I appreciate and respect the people that have had the discernment to wait until the right time to have children and then were intentional about being a model and a support system for their offspring. I daresay most people aren’t that discerning and intentional, and that’s a good chunk of the reason why we have *gestures wildly*.
Ari is a good egg. It’s fascinating to hear how people get into mental health work as a vocation. I also have a ton of respect for anyone who’s worked in the penal system anywhere, especially in Baltimore. He’s currently the clinical director at Backline, which is an organization geared towards providing mental health resources for folks in the music industry. I’ve personally worked with them on a number of occasions, as a client (I was a part of their group sessions at the height of the Covid pandemic and actually met one of my best friends through that) and as a…corporate sponsor, I guess? So I have infinite faith and confidence in the work that they do. Our conversation is fairly breezy, while still hitting a lot of serious points on things like friendship and family. His parents sound super cool and a bit hippie-ish, which is where it makes sense that Ari ended up where he ended up.
I can’t believe we’re at Episode 198. 200’s gonna be pretty special. I’ve asked folks (former guests via email and friends via IG) to submit questions that you’d like me to answer. If you think of something (pertinent to the podcast theme) you wanna ask, shoot me a voice note via email: detoxpod@gmail.com. I’m still recording the episode, so it’s not too late!